when i grow up

when i was a little girl, i knew exactly what i wanted to be when i grew up-a mother. after long summer days of running through the woods barefoot, i would retreat to my room and rock my babydolls, dreaming of the day that i could hold one of my own. granted that day came sooner than i expected, it still remains the most important thing that i will do in my adult life. motherhood has changed me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. my priorities are different and my fears have changed. i pray fervently that they will grow into honorable, Jesus-seeking men, and i pray that kane and i have the wisdom and courage to guide them. there are days when i know that i have failed miserably, and unfortunately because of their ages, those days have been far too frequent. but that is the blessing of motherhood-no matter how much you yell or make poor decisions, you have the opportunity to fix your mistakes and start new each day. i was never quite certain what career path i wanted to take, and to this day i still am not sure. i do know that the boys will always take precedence, therefore, the start of my (eventual) career will be many years away. my work right now is in the home, prepping and preparing their hearts and minds. my idea of what motherhood entails is vastly different than what i imagined it would be, but regardless, it is an absolute privilege to be able to take part in molding these little boys into what God has designated for them.

ps- another aspect of motherhood i was unprepared for?

wearing handmade necklaces made by the boys from wednesday night church...red barn and all. :)