Friday, June 3, 2011

disclaimer: carson

carson's normal speaking voice is what others consider to be  shouting. he has two volumes...loud and louder.

he also has this niche for embarrassing me in public. not like saying cute little things that make others laugh...but things that take years off my life.

there was that time he asked a complete stranger if he could touch her mole.  when she said he could, he began to massage it. massage the mole on her face.

or there was the time a man at our church asked him for a high five. when carson said no, the man asked him why. "because your hands are dirty." ohmygosh.

and of course i cannot forget last sunday when we were out to lunch. three young girls walked in wearing bright, colorful clothes/jewelry. carson pointed at them and proclaimed in his "louder" voice, "mama! look at dose color girls!" noooo carson. you cannot say it like that. it's "look at those girls wearing colorful clothes."

but by far, the most embarrassing moment to date was last wednesday. to give you a little background info, a few weeks ago, my mother-in-law and i were out shopping. she bought the boys two movies...Karate Kid and Mrs. Doubtfire. now to be honest, i haven't seen mrs. doubtfire in at least 10 years. so when we popped it in that night for family movie night, i was shocked at the bad language. a lot of "hells" and "damns." kane and i agreed to put the movie away so that the boys couldn't watch it again...we are a G and PG kinda family. so lets fast forward to last wednesday night. kane had beat us to church for the weekly fellowship meal, and had already made our plates. as the boys and i walked in, the pastor stood up to make an announcement. the boys ran ahead to kane while i stopped to pay for our food. as i started my way back to my seat, (the pastor was still talking, so the church is otherwise silent), Carson peers at his food and proclaims in his loudest voice, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" oh yes he did. my heart stopped. there was a collective gasp from everyone in the room. i died. right there, i died. we took him back to a room to talk to him, and it was obvious he knew he said something wrong. tears welled up in his eyes. we explained to him that the word he used was bad. we talked some more and headed back out to eat. all eyes were on us. some judgmental. some understanding. some snickers here and there. i wanted to shout to everyone that we do not use curse words in our house. that he heard that phrase from a movie. AND THAT IT WAS ALL MY MIL'S FAULT! (hahaha juuuust kidding, Patty!) but we didn't. we just sat quietly and ate our food. 

sweet carson....i will be surprised if i make it to 30.

5 comments:

  1. I missed it Wednesday night.....My son and I are scared of bees....so whenever we see one its "watch out, there is a damn bee". So ,ofcourse, one Sunday when my grandaughter was about 3 and at church,a fly got near her and she started SCREAMING "damn bee,damn bee,damn bee".Thank God, it was at her other grandmothers church.You will laugh about this later.

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  2. blahahahaha!! hate that i missed that one!!!!!

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  3. THAT is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

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  4. Haha! Heard you and Whren talking about it tonight and I had to check it out. If I had been in there I would've died laughing and killed the silence. So funny!

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  5. HAHAHAHA- this post had me cracking up! I can completely relate. I have an almost 4 year old recently said, "Mommy, she has a big butt like you" and "Hi Sirr, are you chocolate?" To an African American man...ahhhhhh the humiliation. lol

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