Looking Back

I definitely did not blog as much in 2013 as I have in previous years, and I have no expectations for this year either...but even so\, I thought it would be fun to  look back at what our family's 2013 looked like!

2013 Review: 
(click the links to take you to the original post!)

We started off our January with Carson turning SIX. We took him out for some family fun, and had a small party at our home.  

I wrote a post in late January explaining a bit about Grant's eyes. It has brought in hundreds of views and emails from people around the world wanting to talk to me, as their own child has a similar condition. 

In early February, God answered a HUGE prayer of ours...tests revealed that the vascular malformation in Harp's thigh had NOT grown!

In late February, our sweet baby Grant turned ONE! We celebrated at our home with our family.

In early March, Kane and I snuck away for the weekend to Richmond to see his brother get married! It was my first time leaving Grant, but we all survived and had a great time! :)

I also wrote a quick post in March updating what was going on in our home such as Carson taking the training wheels off his bicycle, Harp having two loose teeth, and what Grant is like at 13 months.

We started off April with Harper turning FIVE! We had a fun Spidey Bash to celebrate his big day!

I wrote a post in April expressing my concerns with Grant's eyes and what challenges we were (are) facing.

At exactly 14 months old in late April, Grant took his first steps! He also got his first "real" haircut!

May brought us Mothers Day, lots of sickness, and a big 15 month old!

June started off with our little guy (finally) getting an RX for glasses!

And the boys were finally out of school for the summer! Thank goodness for no more germs! :)

Harp kicked off the summer with having his tonsils and adenoids removed. Not a fun recovery, but it needed to be done.

In mid June, we celebrated Father's Day! A few days later, Grant's glasses came in!

THE most important thing that happened all year (and in all of his life!), happened at the end of June: Carson asked Jesus into his heart!

In July, I blogged about our summer up to that point, which included celebrating 6 years of marriage (on June 30), and fun beach days.

 In mid July, we had the privilege of witnessing our oldest babe getting baptized. 

August was all about lazy summer days...followed by more lazy summer days! Grant also turned 18 months!

In September, I finally got around to blogging about the boys first day of kindergarten and first grade!

Harper also lost his first tooth in September!

I wrote a Day in the Life post in September, which was fun...I hope to do another one this year!

The end of September we had Grant's annual Craniofacial appointment.

October means Grant turned another month old, and of course Halloween fun!

I hardly blogged at all in November, but I did manage to throw a quick picture post together!

December is such a busy time for us, but I did do a quick update as well as a Christmas post!

I made this very short (15 sec) video from some of my pics on Instagram...It is our 2013 in a nutshell!

2013 was definitely a year of growth for our family...growth in our faith in Christ, as well as in our relationships. I really think and feel with all my being that 2014 will be a year of stepping out of our comfort zone, stepping out in faith. 

We are so grateful for this past year, and are looking forward to what 2014 has in store for our family!

We wish you all a blessed New Year!

summer days: random post.

I don't know about you all, but I feel like these summer days are just flying by. I really love having the boys home with me all day in the summer, and I hate that school starts back up in less then a month! :( I'm really going to miss those stinkers during the day...It's not always easy with them, but I love our carefree schedule. I love just hopping in the van to go for a quick swim at my parents, or to Target for an icee. 

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We've had a busy last few weeks! Kane's oldest brother, wife, and their two kids came in for the week a few weeks ago. We had so much fun visiting, going to the beach, shopping and cooking-out. We don't get to see them too often, so it was so great connecting with them!  The boys also had a blast with their only boy cousin from Kane's side :) (They have SEVEN girl first-cousins, and only 1 boy first-cousin from Kane's side!)

I have been in a HUGE cleaning/rearranging/painting mood lately. It's hard to get things done with a certain 17 month old following me around, but I do what I can, when I can! Hopefully I'll have some before/after furniture pics up soon! 

speaking of that 17 month old: 

have i mentioned lately how much I love that baby?!

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A few times a week, Harp will [voluntarily] do flashcards and work on reading. He just started reading sentences, and we are going to start beginner books this week!



And this kid? He is a little fish this summer!

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Last Friday night, Kane and I volunteered with new church at our first Summer Jam. Games, music, food, and the Gospel is brought into low-income neighborhoods...we had such a good time and was SO blessed from it. We have another summer jam this Friday and I am really looking forward to it! I LOVE this kind of outreach and am SO grateful new church has this ministry...especially since a lot of churches would never step foot in "this kind" of neighborhood.



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all for now!

Baptism and this past week!

After Carson accepted Jesus into his heart a few weeks ago, Kane and I started talking to him about getting baptized. We talked to him a bit about what it was and we read about John the Baptist in scripture.

Because we have been doing this whole two-church thing for a whole year now, we decided we would give Carson 100% choice as to where he would get baptized-at "home/old church" where we still attend on Wednesdays, or "new church" where we attend on Sundays for the service and Sunday School. Without any hesitation, he chose new church. We asked him a few more times in the days following, and he was pretty adamant about the pastor at new church baptizing him...so new church it was! 

Today was the big day: he was a bit nervous, but also SO excited!

The funny thing about technology is that we have the ability to capture/record any and all memories that we choose...but at the same time, it really distracts us from being in the moment. I didn't record the baptism simply because I wanted to enjoy the moment in real time. I did manage to snap just a couple of pictures, though :)

  

After church, my parents along with Kane's mom and sister went to grab lunch with us! It's always interesting eating with these crazies!

And this is what Grant thought about getting his picture made with Harp! haha!

Kane and me with Carson-the sun was in his face :)

And an attempt at a family picture...these just keep getting worse and worse! ha!

We've had a busy July so far! This past week we had VBS at new church and this week, Kane's oldest brother, wife & kids will be here visiting! 

All for now!

child of the one true King.

Just wanted to drop in and write a few lines on my "journal" to document such an important part of Carson's life. Tonight, Carson asked Jesus into his heart! 

He's been asking questions for months now...Kane and I have had several discussions about whether or not he actually understood the gravity of the decision he was about to make. It's so hard, because you DON'T want to deter him from God (Luke 18:16), but you also pray that it is a genuine commitment. 

Carson moved up to the "big kids" class on Sunday mornings at new church (yes, we're still doing the two church thing :/ anyways, he has been reading his bible and asking a lot of questions lately. Things have been really starting to click for him. He may only be 6, but he was ready.

I held my breath when they made an invitation at VBS tonight for kids who want to be saved. I watched the little faces walk by me, but didn't see Carson (or Harpers). Those invitations always scare me-I don't want my boys to follow the other children just because. You know? The music started back up and several minutes later, I could see Carson shuffling his little feet back and forth. He tapped his leader on the shoulder, (C: "is it too late to go to the back and pray?") He left the pew and started walking, Harp following close behind. Kane walked with Carson into the fellowship hall, I grabbed Harp in the hallway. Me: "Harp-do you wanna go talk with them about Jesus, or do you want to go back in the sanctuary with me and sing?" Harp: "Sing!" :) haha!! 

Kane told me he was given a small group of boys along with Carson (He's an RA leader still) to talk and pray with. Afterwards, Carson told Kane he wanted to pray and become a Christian. So Kane and Carson walked into a quiet room (the church library) and with his earthly daddy, my sweet boy asked his heavenly Father into his heart. 

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I have no idea why in the world God would entrust Kane and I with such an amazing blessing that Carson is. At barely 19 years old, WE-in all of our selfishness and sin-became parents to such an amazing child who changed our lives and continues to do so now, 6 years later. 

We are SO proud, and our hearts are SO full! 

what's going on

I did get my technology problems fixed for now! One of Kane's drivers works on computers, so he took the fan(s) out of our computer tower, gave them a good clean, & all is well! Free is always a good thing. Speaking of free, I have been having major phone issues for months now. I finally buckled down and went by Verizon and got an iphone (ahem...the free one). I'm loving it! 

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We have a lot of appointments coming up. It's unavoidable...I knew that the new year would bring them, so I'm preparing myself for both the major (and minor) appointments our way. In the next few weeks, we'll have 6.

Grant has an important ophthalmology appointment next week. If his astigmatism has gotten worse, he will definitely need glasses. We may also receive a referral to a cornea specialist concerning the limbal dermoids on his eyes.

Harp has appointment with radiology & his surgeon in the first week of February. This is all concern the AVM in his thigh. The scans are to see if it has grown/stayed the same/shrunk in the last 18 months. We would greatly appreciate prayers, specifically that is has not grown. 

We also have Carson's annual physical & Grant's 12 month check up coming up, along with dentist appointments for the boys. And I just remembered I was suppose to get Grant established with a pediatric dentist here locally before his first birthday...oops.

Anyways, here's to a new year with new appointments...Bring it! 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Our Year In Review

**you can click the links to take you to the original post**

**you can check out 2011's year-in-review by clicking here**

One word that would describe 2012 for our family would be change. 

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In a nutshell, our year looked something like this:

-2012 started off with our oldest son turning 5. 

-Followed by the birth of our sweet baby Grant.

-Soon after, we let our family and friends know about some health concerns surrounding baby boy.

-Harper turned four in April!

-Grant was officially diagnosed with Goldenhar Syndrome.

-Grant had surgery to remove his skin tags & we were so excited to see what he looked like post-op!

-When prompted by God, our family ventured out to a new church. 

-In June, Kane and I celebrated 5 years of marriage!

-Carson lost his first tooth! Such an exciting milestone for him! Right after that, he lost another!

-In August, Carson started Kindergarten!

-Then the following week, Harp started Pre-school!

-We saw a team of Craniofacial doctors who evaluated Grant.

-I wrote a post-which I eventually took down (not even going to get into why)-that was really the start of our transition out of "old church" into "new church." New church has been so wonderfully refreshing & renewing for our family-specifically for Kane and me. As much as we have/will miss the wonderful people of RCBC, we know that new church is where we need to be right now.

-The last few months have been consumed with sick babies, classroom activities, and more sicklings.

-We celebrated Christmas!

Our lives have changed so much this year. We have stepped out of our safe zone, and have been allowing God to lead us to the faith zone. It is there that growth will happen. So much change can be unsettling, but we are learning to cling to our Father. 

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a glimpse at 2012:

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As 2013 is upon us, I expect this new year to be one of growth for our family. Join us in praying for just that.

But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3:18

Quick Appointment(s) Update!

just wanted to give a quick update on the appointments going on this week!

Grant has 3 appointments this week...today we had our well child 2 month check-up (we are already a bit behind..go figure). it went great, with the exception of the slew of immunizations. 

grant now weighs 12 lbs, 8 oz. and is 23 1/2 in. long. he's growing! 

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on wednesday we have to go to chapel hill for the initial consultation with plastics. we are using the same plastic surgeon we used with harper which is AWESOME because we really liked Dr. Gage. 

more then likely, they'll just take a look at the skin tags on his face and determine when the best time would be to remove them (either sooner or later). 

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i have been SO worried about the spots on grant's eyes and his ped and i decided that instead of waiting for the July appointment with the local pediatric ophthalmologist, we would try to see if they could see us in at chapel hill sooner. surprisingly, they were able to get us in this friday! i'm super nervous about it, but know that regardless of what they say, it will all happen according to God's will. 

here's a grainy picture of what is on the bottom of BOTH of his eyes. 

prayers for both appointments are greatly welcomed, specifically for the ophthalmology appointment. we will continue to let everyone know whats going on when we know more! 

its that time...

its that time of the year...

mid-November means something big for me...just 3 weeks left of school, and i am d.o.n.e. 

i've been waiting for this time for quite awhile...while most students (regardless of age) get burned out, i get energized. just knowing that i only have a few weeks left pumps me up...

so while i (was) super excited about finishing up these next couple of weeks, something pretty tragic happened...friday night my beloved computer crashed. i say crashed, but i'm not entirely sure what happened with it...theres not a virus or anything and its less than 2 years old. it just won't cut on. it doesn't light up or even act like it wants to... and everything is plugged in correctly. anyways, as it is i'm working on my netbook right now. and yall, netbooks are great for basically surfing the web, but are NOT capable of handling the programs i need for school. so hopefully when we take the computer in this week, they will be able to fix it quickly without breaking our bank.

just for comparison, this is the size difference (ignore the million little finger prints/smudges on both screens):

its also that time of year...

for Operation Christmas Child

it is such a great ministry and i love that my boys can get involved. with the hub-bub of the Christmas season upon us, (and especially now that carson is almost 5), i want them to understand that how we live is not how others live.  i want them to know how incredibly blessed they are. they were so excited when i took them to the store to get the items to pack the shoe boxes. 

and i was even more proud at their consistent prayers for the children that will be receiving the shoe boxes. 

the other night, carson finished up his prayer like this:

"...and God i pray that the children that get the shoe boxes really like their toys....and i also pray that mama has fun on Black Friday. Amen."

Yes, it is that time of year again. ;)

the next few days

the next few days we will be in chapel hill.

tomorrow harp will be having an MRI done around noon and then a CT scan following. sometime after that we'll have a pre-op appointment. we'll be (hopefully) staying at the ronald mcdonald house wednesday evening, and then at 7:30 am on thursday, they will do an incisional biopsy. somewhere in between all of the appointments/procedures we will also meet with harp's oncologist. if everything goes well, then we will be coming home thursday.

i'm sure ya'll are tired of me begging asking for your prayers, but if you will, please pray for these specific things:

-first and foremost, that the biopsy results yield a cancer-free diagnoses.

-anytime harp has to be sedated, it makes me nervous...just pray that he reacts well to the medication.

-safe traveling both to and from CH. my mom and carson are both coming with me (kane will stay so that he can go to work...at this point, i would rather NOT have to worry about finances along with everything else.)

-also pray that there will be a room for us at the ronald mcdonald house. the RMH works on a priority/first-come, first serve basis. if there are not any rooms available, then we will have to stay at a hotel. they do pay a large portion of the hotel bill, but even so, it adds up. just for us to go to/from chapel hill is about $100 in gas (not to mention breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks). if we are able to stay at the RMH, then we do not have to pay for a place to stay or for food, as it is all provided for us.  because we have been making SO many trips to and from CH, it would be a great blessing for us to be able to stay there!

thank you all so much for your kind words and prayers!

  

my heart is heavy.

my heart is heavy tonight, so i'm going to keep this simple. harper had his appointment today with pediatric oncology in chapel hill. walking into the cancer hospital was humbling, watching a four year old receive chemotherapy took my breath away. harp's oncologist really didn't tell us anything that we didn't know. there is a large tumor in his thigh. the lymphnodes around the tumor are swollen. they have no idea (from looking at the MRI) what kind of tumor it is. to be honest, at this point things aren't looking great. i think i've been in this state of denial for the past month, that everything was going to be just fine. the doctors were overreacting. my son is an active, happy baby and that there could be no way he could have cancer. but after today, i'm broken. the only thing dr.h told me not to do was google childhood sarcomas, specifically rhabdomyosarcomas and osteosarcomas. but of course i did. and it scares the hell out of me. next wednesday (august 10), harper will have a full day of testing, including a head-to-toe MRI to make sure there are no other tumors that we do not know about. the following day (thursday) they will perform an incisional biopsy. they chose to take the biopsy through an incision (and then cutting a piece of the tumor off) instead of the traditional way because they don't want to stick a needle in something that they don't know anything about. after the biopsy, we should know exactly what we are dealing with. i am asking you all right now to please pray for harper. pray specifically that the tumor is benign. pray that we have the strength to deal with whatever happens. because i'm broken. please lift harper up in your prayers. please.

harp update

***things are pretty hectic right now but i wanted to give a quick update.

***to get caught up on what's going on, click here

harp had an ultrasound this morning to see what the bulge in his leg was.

the radiologist and harp's pediatrician said there is definitely a "soft tissue mass" of some sort in the muscle of his leg. it doesn't appear to be connected to his bone...which is about the only good news we received. 

they want us back in chapel hill so they can run tests as soon as possible...as soon as possible in the medical world could be a few weeks, but i'll know more this afternoon. 

his ped said it could be just a fatty tumor....or something else...regardless, it's not suppose to be there. 

for now i'm just working on getting an appointment set up with his surgeon. 

thanks for everyone's prayers and kind words...it really does mean the world to us.

UPDATE: we have an appointment scheduled for next wednesday in chapel hill. we will (hopefully) know more then.  we will continue to keep everyone updated.  

today

***to get caught up, click here

this morning is harp's ultrasound to see what the mass on his thigh is. please keep my little guy in your prayers...will update once we know something!

Prayer

The Life (We) Deserve

Because of the impending move, loads of schoolwork and you know, raising my kids, blogging has fallen to the backburner.

This also means I have kept the blogs I read on a daily basis to a minimum.

As in like 4 blogs and thats it.

One of my favorite bloggers is Jessica from The Making of M.O.M.

She is Real. Authentic. and Hilarious.

She has six children all ages 6 and under (that includes a set of twins and two that are adopted).

She and her husband have felt God stir in their lives in a big way and have recently announced they are relocating their family to Africa to minister.

She wrote a post today about the life that (we) deserve as Christians.

And it really resonated deep with me.

So I thought I'd share the link with anyone who has a few minutes to spare.

You can read her post by clicking here:

The Life I Deserve

Enjoy! 

2011

2011.

Does that not sound foreign to you?

I think that if I could predict what this year will look like for our family, I would use the word change.

Although we are just days into the new year, I can just feel the impending change in the air.

Which is both exciting and frightening.

You see, I'm not always okay with change. The unknown is scary to me. I'm a self-confessed control freak who enjoys predictability. I'm not one to venture out of my safety zone.

But change is coming. I know it. I can feel it.

First and foremost, my "baby" Carson will be four years old in less than two weeks. My mind cannot come to terms with that. His new favorite thing to do as of late is pretending to propose to a "pretty girl." What scares me is that before I know it, he really will be down on one knee asking some son-stealing lovely young woman for her hand in marriage. I know what you all are thinking. I'm being dramatic. But the years seem to be flying by like days. Oh and did I mention Carson starts pre-school this year? Talk about separation-anxiety (for me-not Carson!)

And just two weeks after his birthday we will be moving to a new home, leaving behind the house we've lived in for 3.5 years. Although anyone who knows me in real life can attest to the fact that this is a much needed move, I'm already becoming nostalgic. This was our first home. And the memories we have shared will forever be connected with this house. But with all that being said, I am soo excited about our new home! I can't share details about it quite yet, but note that there will be plenty of posts to come! :)

Another area of change for 2011 will be me graduating from the college I attend this year-I have so many options concerning what exactly I will do after that happens...Prayers are greatly appreciated! :)

2011 will most certainly be a memorable year for our family...

I'll end this rambling post with scripture that I find particularly comforting...

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'

Jeremiah 29:11 

Happy New Year!

dwell on these things...

Compliments of Philippians 4:8 

If you want one of these downloaded or printed for free, you can go here!

Or, if you simply want the background(s) to create your own printable, go here.

today is the day...

Today is the day that Harper will have his second surgery on his toe. As I write this (Sunday evening) I cannot help but be nervous. Stomach-wrenching, anxiety-driven, n.e.r.v.o.u.s. He's my baby. My sweet, sometimes rotten baby.

I will never forget when I had to hand him over to the nurse last year. He was already half "drunk" off of some light anesthetic that they give all babies/young children so that they are not crying when they take them back. His head layed lazily on the nurse's shoulder as he grinned sheepishly, waving his little hand goodbye. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I started to shake. The kind, compassionate anesthesiologist who was gathering her equipment came up to me and gently put her hand on my arm. "Honey, go get something to eat. He's going to be just fine." And thats all it took. Kind words from a kind stranger. I could barely make it to the elevators before I lost it. And I mean lost it.

2009 was a terrible year for me. I tried so hard to be strong and focused, allowing God to only take minimal control. In my mind, it was the only way I could survive. So giving my sweet baby over to the doctors, and leaving him in their care....that took a lot. I was no longer in control of the situation.  

And here we are a year later....Once again, I will take Harper to Chapel Hill alone. We really cannot afford for Kane to take off work and my parents will be watching Carson. Circumstances are quite different this time around, but one thing will remain the same...God is truly in control.

If you are reading this, please whisper a quick prayer for my Harper...

And lets hope this is the last picture I will ever have to take of this pesky thing...

dwell on this...

here we go again...

Almost exactly one year ago today (September 23, 2009), Harper had surgery on his toe to remove a large hemangioma. 

And now, a year later, the hemangioma has grown back. His surgeon warned me this could happen, but he was "95% sure we got it all."

Recently, I've noticed his "bad" toe has been bothering him. If he steps on something or falls, he cries out in pain.

This morning, Harp woke up limping. If I touch the hemangioma, he yelps.

So I called Chapel Hill Children's Hospital, and spoke with the PA. They want to see him immediately. So Harp and I are heading to Chapel Hill tomorrow evening, staying at the Ronald McDonald House for the night, and first thing Wednesday morning, we have an appointment with his surgeon.

Everyone please keep us in your prayers...

Besides the fact I am worried for Harper and it breaks my heart to see him limp, I have a lot of school work due over the next few days...School work that I can only complete at home because earlier this year I bought a new desktop computer rather than a new laptop computer. See my dilemma?

I will keep everyone updated as best as I can.

I'll leave you with a current picture of Harp's toe...the picture really doesn't do justice to the size of the hemangioma, but you get the point...

another prayer...

"Dear Lord...take care of mama and keep her strong so she can grow up to be big and strong like daddy and me and grandpa. We name your pray. Amen."

-Carson